Most cowboys know of Murphyís
Law, what they may not know is that Murphy, in his wisdom, wrote
his law's for CAS long before it came into existence.
Back then CAS wasnít yet a
proven science or art form like it is today and things could
actually go wrong with firearms, ammo, stage props, spurs, etc.
and some cowboys, as hard as it is the believe, actually missed.
It was for these reasons that
Capt. Murphy wrote his famous law's for Cowboy Action Shooting.
They are listed below in no particular order so-whatever.
No matter how the plate is
positioned, fragment will always reflect forward towards the
The most expensive and hard to
find (38-40/32-20) cartridges will always land forward of the
No matter which side the
buckle is on; spurs can be put on backwards and upside down.
If itís dark outside boots
will always go on the wrong feet.
If itís daylight outside boots
will always go on the wrong feet.
The whiter the hat the deeper
the mud hole that it falls into.
Feet will always swell on the
night of the banquet when you have on your tight fitting,
If stopped by a cop for a
broken tail light on the way to a meet the first thing he will
always ask is; are there any weapons in the car?
All cops who stop cowboys
going to or from a meet never have a sense of western humor.
Donít ever try and joke around
with a cop when you are transporting 8+ guns and 1000+ rounds
of ammo to or from a Club called, Vigilante Colt Justice
Under the above mentioned laws
always try substituting - Old Western Texas Poets Sonneteer
Society for Vigilante Colt Justice Shooting Club.
The first time youíre running
real late is the first time the safety meeting will actually
start on time.
A secure, drop proof, gun
holster really isnít
The time you locate that gun
youíve always wanted at a price far below market value for
cash only right then is the time you will have forgotten to
visit ATM before leaving home and the two pards behind you
will be waving greenbacks at the seller.
When itís time to leave for
the airport to your first EOT, and all your pards are waiting
in the is car, thatís the time the safe will refuse to open
and the only safe/lock smith within 50 miles is on vacation
and your CAS friend, Yellow Dog Tick, will be fresh out of
Green, pink & yellow
really do make a smart looking cowboy outfit for pards,
pardettes & horses.
Green, pink & yellow dress
suit not a good choice for work, church, weddings, trial,
funerals, job interviews, etc.
If you say anything at all to
a cowboy with blue hair, orange beard, wearing green, pink
& yellow outfit it would be in your best interest to tell
him heís a right handsome looking buckaroo vaquero.
If you call an armed cowboy a
buckaroo, be absolutely sure that the B doesnít sound like a V
A cowboy packing two Colts and
carrying a double can wear any thing he dang well pleases.
Osauma Ben Lauden has never
seen the movie, ďThe Wild Bunch.Ē
One flat bed trailer loaded
with armed cowboys really can depose Castro on Friday, Sadam
Hussain on Saturday with time left over for a banquet Saturday
night on the Rivera.
The game of ďCowboys and al
QaedaĒ has never been played.
Ear plugs will be instantly
remembered after the first report of a 26+ round stage shot
inside a small building.
A timer reading showing a
negative number proves that cowboys really can go faster than
the speed of light which makes Einstein a waddy.
Stealth Bullets only work in
stealth guns on a stealth stage being shot by a stealth cowboy
If the last shot for a clean
match is a mandatory knock down, when hit, it will never go
If you are winning the match
with a stock Ruger and ahead by. 25sec., on the last shot the
hammer will always slip.
You always know itís time to
stop reloading and come to bed when your wife calls out for a
DQ for failure to engage.
The cost of a real Colt always
equals two or more (2) SS checks.
No matter how many carts you
have, you will always have the urge to build just one more.
No matter how many carts you
have made that were based on years of CAS experience, some new
pard on his first time out will have a better one.
Gun carts are addictive, the
only known cure is to build a factory and hire help for the
mass production of your last and perfect cart.
No cart is ever perfect.
No matter how wide the tread
and how big the tires, your cart will tip over at Tin Star
Cowboys and boys who ice.
skate and dance to show tunes
are the only real men authorized to wear rhinestones.
If you carry oxygen for a
pick-me-up before stage time, some fool will always use it to
strike a match on to light his cigar.
Modern day cowboys really
donít roll their own. (think about it)
Modern day cowboys really do
yell, YAHOO DOT COM.
The cost of new CB equipment
will always equal your checking account balance.
If you ask the cost of playing
CAS you probably canít afford it.
No matter how many times they
are cycled at home, New guns will always lock up at first
No matter how many times they
are cycled at home, used guns will always lock up at first
All guns, no matter how many
$$$$ spent on them for action jobs, will always lock up.
Action jobs really arenít.
If used, sun block will always
get into your eyes while shooting the longest and most
If used, Sun block will always
get into your eyes.
Your expensive, new safety
shooting glasses will never have the right correction for CAS
If the stage calls for a
reload off body, your extra bullet will always be on your
If stage calls for extra
bullet to be loaded off your body, that will be the one you
drop and the only one in that caliber that you have on you.
If stage calls for reloading
off you body, the first and sometimes the second cartridge you
pull out of your pouch will always be the wrong caliber.
When the above happens the
cowboy will always try and load it anyway.
The wrong caliber for you
rifle will not chamber but it will always fit thru the loading
gate and jam under the carrier.
38 caliber bullets will go
thru the loading gate of a W32-20 rifle and jam.
45 long Colts will go thru the
loading gate of a 45-70 and jam.
You can always ID a Marlin man
by the screw drivers he carries in his ammo belt loops.
Screws on a Marlin really
canít be over stressed.
Screws on a Winchester that
are over stressed will always strip out.
Lock tight really isnít.
Secure, fail proof, Tang
sights will always fall down.
If the stage calls for 10
rifle rounds the rifle will always jam on first round.
f the rifle is the first gun
to be used on a stage it will always jam on the second round.
Your spare gun will never work
when needed for that purpose.
Modern day Stag grips really
Modern day real ivory grips
Hard wood grips will crack the
first time the gun is mishandled.
Grips guaranteed to fit really
Clean black powder really
A 42 inch gun belt can never
be stretched far enough to fit around a 48 inch waist.
Loose gun belts will always
fall off going down stage steps while on the timer.
All BP shooters by nature have
really small, tight nipples.
With age all BP shooters will
have large nipples that sag.
All CB guns have the inherent
ability to be staged unloaded.
There really are stage
gremlins who move your guns, takes rounds out of them or put
more in, rigs props to not work and who move targets out of
harms way just as the trigger is pulled.
Donít ever try to shoot a
stage gremlin, they smell real bad.
A hair trigger really isnít.
Peep sights donít.
Peep sights will always fill
up with crud.
If you run out of shots shells
on a stage and a cowboy hands you his, they will always be the
Cowboys are the only known
Homo sapiens who can laugh out loud at themselves and not be
The only thing a cowboy loves
more than his horse is another horse.
Donít ever kiss another
cowboys horse, he will not like it and they tend to kick.
After feeling the finish on a
CBs gun it would be best not to tell him; itís as soft as a
Donít ever talk harsh about a
cowboys Mother, dog, truck, bass boat, horse, collection of
guns or his selection of chew.
No CB has ever admitted being
All CB shooters are proven,
Betting on a stage is always a
All cowboys like to gamble,
even when they know they canít win.
Cowboys never have money to
gamble with; on the way into town.
Their horse won it all.
In 5-card draw always count
the cards six times before accusing an armed CB of holding
more than 5, that way youíll have a better feel and
appreciation for the number 6.
Cowboys and boys who skate and
dance to show tunes are the only real men authorized to wear
Storm proof tents used for SAS
camping really arenít.
All CAS tents leak and the
leak will always be directly above the bedding material of the
tenants or his guns.
An RV transporting 6 cowboys
and their equipment to an annual CAS meet is really an RT -
38s really arenít wimp loads
unless you actually shoot a wimp.
Donít ever shoot a wimp; they
will not die and will just lie there and whine, cry, moan,
groan and carry on forever.
38s really arenít mouse guns;
their hands are too small to reach the trigger.
Horse blinders really donít.
All cowboys who wear a shot
shell, bra belt also know all the Broadway show tunes.
All cowboys who insist on
wearing a shot shell bra belt will always be wearing
rhinestones or sequins and have shinny guns with mother of
Gen. George Patton really did
say that about pearl grips and itĎs true.
Elvis, dressed like a cowboy
in white leather, really has been seen at EOT.
If you think you saw Elvis at
EOT dressed in white leather, he really was there and ten
cowboys will back you up no matter what.
If youíre absolutely positive
that you saw slick willie (BC) at a SASS meet dressed as a
cowboy packiní heat, always keep it to yourself and never
mention it; cowboys donĎt cotton to crazy people.
No matter how good you are
with a long-range rifle, you can never hit the Marfa, Texas
Only cowboys can wear yellow
leather boots and not get noticed real hard.
All cowboys wearing yellow,
leather boots, study the ground real hard before dismounting.
Spurs really do help in
obtaining more traction for action.
Just like guns, spurs really
can lock up.
Cross draw holsters tend to
make a cowboy a switch hitter or a good Broadway dancer.
Two holsters worn on same side
always makes a cowboy a switch hitter.
Not all cowboys can operate a
jig but they all know how to dance to one.
If MapQuest shows the range to
be north of interchange xxx, it will always be south,
requiring another 15 minutes to next interchange turn around.
The night before you leave you
will always loose you CAS Checklist for stuff to ďNot Forget.Ē
All computers are biased
against cowboys and will always dump whatever it was you were
saving for CAS work; Bill designed them that way.
On any other day, you can't
stay awake long enough to finish watching the news, but the
night before a CAS shoot you will always not be able to sleep
even if you were hit over the head with the butt end of your
Squib loads really arenĎt made
No matter how many months the
fantastic hamburger griller has sold lunches at your home
range, he will never be there when you forgot your lunch.
No matter how carefully you
load your ammo, the stage with the one chance only, 30 second
bonus will always be a dud.
The cinch will break on the
Bridleís donít belong in the
honeymoon suite unless the Bride is really weird.
Cowboys should never invite
their horse into the Brides bedroom, see above.
The slicked up rifle action
job that feels so good dry firing at home will never eject
shells during the match and if it does they will go into your
eye or over your safety glasses and down your collar.
That new, big, expensive,
cowboy hat will always obscure your vision of the front sights
of your rifle, but you will look good wearing it.
Puncture proof, pneumatic
tires on your cart really arenít.
If you use hard rubber tires
they will fall off.
If you spend an extra ordinary
amount of time developing a list of things NOT to forget when
going to the upcoming Regional or National match, the day of
packing for the match, you will have lost the list.
If your CAS list is on your
computer it will never give it up without a knock down, drag
out, USB fight.
After laying out everything in
preparation for the next day's match, including the new.38
pistols & rifle, you will always, out of habit, grab the
If you forget or pack the
wrong ammo, that will always be the caliber the club vender
will be out of.
When needed, the closest
Wal-Mart will always be in the next county.
If your rifle and handguns are
not the same caliber you will always get them mixed up at
least once. The harder your rifle is to dismantle the more
likely and often this is to happen.
An easy shot really isnít.
The only time an easy shot can
be called easy is after itís been hit.
Golf carts used as gun carts
are still golf carts and we all know what that means.
Clay birds launched from a
taut spring are going about 60MPH. A driven golf ball travels
about 250MPH. Donít ever bet that you can hit a golf ball with
a shot gun before dark unless you really donít need that
shoulder any more.
Electric powered gun carts
donít really need push handles.
The battery on an electric
cart will always go dead at the stage furthest away from your
Gun safes really arenít.
A safe gun is really an
Only morons consider a safe
gun exclusively safe.
Mulliganís in CAS do not exist
and should never be called out by the shooter.
And last but
not least, All cowboys really do have more fun.